I never REALLY liked roller coasters…..

November 22, 2014

     Its 2-0-1-4 we are still living in Maryland and have been here almost 3 1/2 years.  This coming year is our year to move.  The big decision lately is whether or not to stay in the Coast Guard or get out. I think we are leaning towards getting out.  We are most likely moving to Long Island this summer but probably more towards the end since we have to sell our house.  The kids are great, Taylor will be 8 next month and is in 2nd grade, she has Mrs Khoshtinat.  Dominick is 5 1/2 and is in Kindergarten, he has Mrs Schroen.  Chris is 4 and in Preschool at Crofton Day School.   Alexis is 2 1/2 and stays home with me.  OH and we are having baby #5, I think, Maybe, Sorta, Kinda.  So I found out I was pregnant on a tuesday Sept 23rd…. So that makes me 3 months and a week tomorrow…. Ever since we found out it has been the most stressful time of my life.  Our first Dr appt I was only 4 weeks and it was wayyyy to early to see anything.  I decided to switch dr.'s to Annapolis OBGYN, since they deliver at a hospital closer to me that I am more familiar with.  Well our first appt came Thursday Oct 9th, and I had josh come with me (chris and Alexis tagged along too) I just had a bad feeling from the start.  We did a sonogram and the stenographer looked funny so I asked her if she saw twins? And she said "no Its just that the baby is implanted SO LOW in your uterus" that would be the first of many times that I would hear that.  So then we went to talk to the Dr. Her name was Dr Stit.  She was my friend Shannon's friend so I was excited to meet her and tell her I was a friend of Shannon's….. She told us that the implantation was VERY VERY low and that she basically has never seen this low of a pregnancy make it.  I asked her a million questions, and she said "you guys obviously wanted this pregnancy" so she told us that "we could try again after I get my next first period." I kinda laughed b/c this was not exactly a plan in the first place but YES we were excited.  I asked her if she's seen a baby be born that was so low in the uterus and she went on to tell us how there is no way a baby can even stretch and grow that low, she also said that she's been doing this for 10 years and has never seen a baby born like this….. So we were pretty sad & teary eyed right away, she said "I'm sorry" and left the room. I make an appt for 2 weeks bc thats what she said to do and all left and went home, it was a pretty sad next 2 weeks.  We had Rachel's wedding in Indiana in-between all the waiting which made it pretty stressful.  Well nothing had happened the next 2 weeks besides lots of googling on low implantations, which I had never had to think about with my previous 4 pregnancies.  I found good and bad things about this, lots of ppl said they miscarried and some ppl said their baby's moved up with the uterus.  Well I went for my next sonogram by myself and figured I would Not see anything BUT I was pleasantly surprised when I saw a heartbeat on the screen!!  I really couldn't believe it…. but again they just said it was a watch and wait kind of thing and I left again with no news and still the possibility that I wold miscarry.  Well on my drive home the Dr saw me and said she was thinking about me and that she wanted me to see a specialist.  I was so excited to see a specialist bc I knew they could tell me more…. SO I made an Apt with the specialist and went to my appt…. He said the pregnancy was LOW but he said he's seen this before and that they had a good looking kid LOL so I was SO RELIEVED….. now since then I've been to a few more dr appts and a couple specialist appts and the baby is growing perfectly and tested negative for down syndrome and all the other syndromes that they test for.  I was ecstatic to hear that news….. Now this past week josh was suppose to be away up in Cleveland but bc of snow he didn't' go…. well thank GOD bc I woke up at about 3am on tuesday morning and I started bleeding out of no where.  Of course I freaked out and we went to the ER, threw all the kids in the van and I went in the ER and Josh waited in the car with them as they slept.  The ER dr basically looked at me like a miscarriage but I told him I wanted to have a sonogram so they put an IV in me and did a pelvic exam where he figured out that my cervix was closed, which is a good thing, and then the sonogram showed the baby was perfectly fine!!  I couldn't believe it AGAIN! This baby is testing my nerves…. I stopped bleeding that afternoon and for another day I was good but thenWednesday NIGHT at 10pm the same thing happened but this time it lasted until today saturaday, and I THINK its almost gone but not 100.  Since I started bleeding again I went in to see the dr on thursday and they did a sonogram and this time the stenographer saw another weird thing, she called it a mass and said it looks like blood to her!!! I spoke to the dr who had no idea what to tell me and I was so pissed off…. she gave me the whole miscarriage speech again or told me it could go away.  I left there again in tears and called the specialist right away, I told them my dr saw a mass in my uterus and kinda lied my way into an appt.  I ran over there and they took me so fast.  The stenographer did a sonogram then Dr Sweeney came in and said that he saw this on my last sonogram but didn't want to worry me so he didn't' tell me.  He said that he thought it was either a blood clot or something else but I can't remember the word and he said he is not worried about it bc he thinks it will dissolve and everything will be ok! OMG I WAS SO RELIEVED!! I am not 100% convinced that it will be ok but he is VERy reassuring and keeps telling me that he see's this pregnancy as one that will have a good outcome…. He did say at my 2nd appt that I may not have a uterus at the end of this but that we would be ok!! So needless to say I am freaking out all the time about what is going to happen to the baby and to me….. I have even said a bunch of prayers which is something I don't normally do but I think in order to get me through this Im going to have to have FAITH.  This is a name I am considering for this baby if it is a girl.  Next week is Thankgiving and I plan to tell all my family as long as things are still okay… I am almost hesitant to do this but on the other hand I tell my family everything so I think this is something they should know…. besides I am sooooo excited about this baby (when I set aside all the terrible things I am thinking MIGHT HAPPEN, how exciting baby #5!)